Post summer update

Long time no write, my bad again.
All this blogging deal just doesn't get into my routine so I often forget about it.
Anyway, as mentioned in previous posts I enrolled a master, which I'm nearly through with, and I was struggling with the last exams in University. I am one exam away from the end, still with no thesis going which leads me to think I'll have at least another 9 months of struggling. But this time I'll be done for good.
Master went ok, I was really naive thinking it would be different from other italian experiences I had in the past. On one hand I can say that connections it has with companies seem fantastic (uni has none so having some it's already better), teaching was acceptable, it made me in touch with a lot of subject I was a total stranger with. But its very organization was poor, the attitude was always intended to fix situations "the italian way" and after all I didn't like very much some of the decision taken by the direction. Final judgement is still to be done though.
Had a long summer lucky me, went to the seaside for a long time, travelled Corsica for 3 weeks so altogether it was a 40-days-long holiday. I really can't complain.

Running away from flu

I got the flu. I am recovering at the moment although some more housekeeping made breathe tons of dust and I'm coughing like an old man. I hate being sick, it makes me feel useless. Apart from that, I'm through the first part of Master and on scale from one to ten I can say my happiness is around 7. February is going to be more intensive, and at the end of march there is the exam for the environmental specialization. I wanna do good, and earn the right (metaphorically speaking) to a good internship position.


Yesterday I had an awesome poker session, I was up 75€, never so much in one night before. Friends are kind these days, I feel very nicely fitting with them, we had a funny game. My poor girl has been infected by my germs, I feel deeply sorry about that, and she got a tougher version of my sickness. I hope I can do my best to make her feel confie while ill and that she can get better right away.


What else? I keep telling myself to wake up because Obama is no dream, is a (and the) real thing. Long live the king!

Back on the start line

Vacation was long. I ended up being out of town for two straight weeks. It was awesome, I relaxed and had huge fun with my buddies, I spent a lot of time with my girlfriend (finally alone!) and after chilled not worrying too much about what's coming in a couple of days.
It is time now to stop wondering and start thinking serious. Master will start on wedensday, and this time no joke it will lead me way into spring. Few pauses hopefully but for the rest, a bloody hard time.
I'd like to begin playing some sort of online videogame, I miss the hours of fun I used to have last year. Hopefully it will be soon.
Apart from that today its a cleaning day which honestly sucks big time! But hey, I'd rather stay civilized now that I have enough time to choose ;)

Happy Xmas

So here we are, ready once again for the big bad holy christmas show. This year my imagination is tired and I have a hard time finding anything good in this holiday I don't really give a shit about.
Things are going good for me, I'll leave in a couple of days for a short trip, just to catch some different air, and hopefully will have the chance to spend some time with my love alone. All those unbalances were fixed with the beginning of the master as I was expecting, so crisis contained for now.
The day-to-day life is extensively tiring on a number of levels, days are so long and yet weeks pass by so quick. I like most of what has occured since I began class, I can consider myself satisfied for now.
I wish those ugly mugs that still read this words a merry Xmas and a wonderful new year. Don't give up in the pursuit of your dreams,

per aspera ad astra

Few days away.

December 9th, that's when the mess begins. Just in time to constrain my problem-solving capabilty. Relationships (luckly not all of them) become messy over time, and it'd require more maturity, more effort and diligence to be fixed.
People dont care much, they just keep going the same way over and over again. Unless someone takes the first step. Can then people respond to what they are told? And will they respond in the right way? Maybe...I'll find out in a few minutes.

***

Update: It appears (but i think it barely appears) that people do respond. It looks like misunderstading becomes easy during crises, hence the need to talk more and more often. It may be my natural instinct leading me to solve issues privately, quitely, that led me to this. But it could also be that certain statics are not flexible enough to understand diversity. Am I so different after all?

***

Sidenote: I really believe in people. Even when I smell something wrong, half-truths, unsaid things and so on, I always want to believe they have good intentions and what happens that goes wrong is not intentional. But then can something unintentional and spontaneous be hurting so damn much?

***

Lost thought: In two weeks from now it shall be all over. No more worring, no more balance to keep or rebuild, no more diplomacy. Events will decide for me and each second spent with someone will be a gift. It is unbelivable how differently one can percieve the same event. On one hand my master is gonna suck my life up big time, on the other one it shall keep me from making decisions, from being mistaken or misunderstood. So its a bad thing. And a good thing. I dont wanna lose nothing (or most importantly nobody) on the way. Will it be easier then, when nothing is in my power to keep/push away people, or now when I have to decide every single day on who to spend it with and in which manner.

Answers to all these questions will come in the next months, more likely in the next weeks. One thing I'm sure of: I am happy (besides today) with my life as it is. I do want the people in it to stay where they are. It is to see what happens if they dont adjust to me as they ask me to adjust to them. More to come.

untitled

Wow, it's been long!
I was rearranging my life in the last months and apparently it worked out. I am living in a peaceful and dreamy state lately, due mostly to a relationship that in almost a year hasn't stopped surprising me quite yet.
School's good, not many exams away from being through. I don't feel much like studying but hey, perfection gets boring pretty rapidly ain't it?
Regardless of the few things I am wondering about, future career and future opportunities, I'd say I'm rolling pretty good.
For all those who seeked news about me recently around the Godfather's house, thank you, it's appreciated to know people think of you.
I thought many times to close this blog, it takes effort and inspiration to open up your feelings, being a personal journal. In the end i decided to keep it. It may not be adjourned often but it is a part of my last years I dont want to erase. For future memory some say. On the other hand I'll try to write more often.
The boy is back...

Adjusting in progress

Earth calling Marquish, Marquish doesn't answer.
This has been the recurring theme of the last almost two months. I didn't write, I was busy planning the best way to hold on and change faith.
I am serene now, back to school, studying, alive and kickin'.
All I didn't want to happen, eventually became my everyday life. Reasoning led me not to hate it, to accept it even though this is not the place, the time, the situation I wanted to live. But hopefully it is for the best. I spoke to Lise yesterday and no question was damn hard. I miss that wonderful world (like Armstrong's) I started to dream could be my next future.
In the end I cannot complain, Rome is treating me alright. Friends are nice, I am working hard which is always rewarding and the project I left before leaving is going pretty well.
For all of those who stayed with me in California and hoped to see me again:
I am sorry, I couldn't help this from happening and I am as disappointed as you are.
Come visit me in Rome and facing a beer I'll explain everything. Y'all are more than welcome.
More to come.