Few days away.

December 9th, that's when the mess begins. Just in time to constrain my problem-solving capabilty. Relationships (luckly not all of them) become messy over time, and it'd require more maturity, more effort and diligence to be fixed.
People dont care much, they just keep going the same way over and over again. Unless someone takes the first step. Can then people respond to what they are told? And will they respond in the right way? Maybe...I'll find out in a few minutes.

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Update: It appears (but i think it barely appears) that people do respond. It looks like misunderstading becomes easy during crises, hence the need to talk more and more often. It may be my natural instinct leading me to solve issues privately, quitely, that led me to this. But it could also be that certain statics are not flexible enough to understand diversity. Am I so different after all?

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Sidenote: I really believe in people. Even when I smell something wrong, half-truths, unsaid things and so on, I always want to believe they have good intentions and what happens that goes wrong is not intentional. But then can something unintentional and spontaneous be hurting so damn much?

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Lost thought: In two weeks from now it shall be all over. No more worring, no more balance to keep or rebuild, no more diplomacy. Events will decide for me and each second spent with someone will be a gift. It is unbelivable how differently one can percieve the same event. On one hand my master is gonna suck my life up big time, on the other one it shall keep me from making decisions, from being mistaken or misunderstood. So its a bad thing. And a good thing. I dont wanna lose nothing (or most importantly nobody) on the way. Will it be easier then, when nothing is in my power to keep/push away people, or now when I have to decide every single day on who to spend it with and in which manner.

Answers to all these questions will come in the next months, more likely in the next weeks. One thing I'm sure of: I am happy (besides today) with my life as it is. I do want the people in it to stay where they are. It is to see what happens if they dont adjust to me as they ask me to adjust to them. More to come.